Freshly-acquitted Diddy gives your weekend safety brief
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8 tattoos you can get under new Hegseth policy
Good news: Tattoos of Pete Hegseth depicted “in the Greek Style” are now allowed.
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ICE deports Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps
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Iran rebranded 'Pepsistan' in new Pepsi-Pentagon strategic partnership
U.S. military now powered by freedom, capitalism, and high-fructose corn syrup
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VA launches negative disability ratings to fill budget gaps
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C-5 on Ramstein ramp spends entire World War III in timeout
Strategic airlift mission replaced by strategic pub crawl
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This July 4th, remember to honor veterans who lost limbs last July 4th
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Hegseth renames USNS Harvey Milk to USNS James Earl Ray, but a different one
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Noem visit to LA troops ends in gunfire, K-9 fatality
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Grandma just wants to know if that was you dropping bombs on Iran
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US accidentally re-invades Iraq
Troops surprised to find old combat outposts still smell like Axe body spray
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Army birthday parade sparks rediscovery of Von Steuben’s pimp-step parade doctrine
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Navy finishes retrofitting F/A-18s with periscopes, torpedoes
After decades of dominating air superiority, Navy shifts focus to dominating water mediocrity.
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Army Secretary decries 'PowerPoint in parade form' for Trump's birthday
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After Israel attacks Iran, IndoPacom commander starts hiding missiles under bed
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Trump declines parade march, citing sudden bone spur flare-up
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New Air Force One denied security clearance due to excessive foreign connections
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Fort Irwin to be renamed Fort Hitler
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Basic bitch goes to Basic Training
Johnson single-handedly organized a supply run for pumpkin spice latte MREs (Meals, Ready-to-Eat).
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Elon Musk awarded Bronze Star for accomplishing nothing
“While he achieved literally none of his stated objectives, the PowerPoint slides were clean, and he cc’d a lot of people.”
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