Naval Academy summer program teaches kids how to be racist, tie knots

Program blends soft skills, hard prejudice, and light tobacco use.

Aug 1, 2025 · 2 min read

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Hegseth renames USNS Harvey Milk to USNS James Earl Ray, but a different one

Says move is part of broader strategy to ‘de-gay the gray hulls.’

Jul 2, 2025 · 2 min read

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Navy finishes retrofitting F/A-18s with periscopes, torpedoes

After decades of dominating air superiority, Navy shifts focus to dominating water mediocrity.

Jun 20, 2025 · 3 min read

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After Israel attacks Iran, IndoPacom commander starts hiding missiles under bed

“I’m not letting those goddamn CENTCOM punks steal from me again,” said Adm. Samuel Paparo. “Not this time. Not ever.”

Jun 16, 2025 · 1 min read

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US 'far behind in capabilities' being sold by retired general

The retired officer says that America is woefully under-resourced in a defense technology capability that is only sold by his company.

Jun 2, 2025 · 3 min read

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Army study: Soldiers have bigger dicks than sailors

The USS Ronald Reagan held the record for simultaneous penis inspections, with 473 sailors participating.

May 28, 2025 · 3 min read

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Dyslexic officer cuts IED training from EOD course

“Oops, I got my wires crossed again."

May 16, 2025 · 2 min read

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USS Clinton Skipper Claims He Did Not have international relations in South China sea

“You should’ve seen what those beaches were wearing," the captain said.

May 9, 2025 · 3 min read

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Duffel Blog presents: The 10 dumbest military phrases

"There’s no ‘I’ in team" but there are three 'U's in "shut the f--k up"

May 2, 2025 · 3 min read

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Navy kicks off 'Incel to Intel' recruiting campaign

The service's novel approach is to recruit technologically adept virgins into the intelligence community.

Apr 30, 2025 · 4 min read

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Navy to outfit subs with torpedo bats

A 34-inch, 32-ounce piece of American maple hurtling through international waters with big league dreams.

Apr 21, 2025 · 3 min read

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US Navy commissions first openly-straight officer

“We are very proud of this milestone,” said Adm. Lisa Francetti.

Feb 28, 2025 · 3 min read

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Dozens killed in Navy SEAL raid on clandestine DEI cell

According to CIA data, in 2024 alone, DEI agents hosted more than 2,000 diversity-themed events.

Feb 26, 2025 · 3 min read

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GWOT reenactors gather for disconnected violence, ill-conceived civil projects

Corners remain to be turned, contracts to be awarded

Feb 21, 2025 · 6 min read

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Mustachioed Navy officer, obsessed with Japan and toe shoes, still single somehow

So weird.

Feb 5, 2025 · 3 min read

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Navy corpsman refuses to give Motrin, tourniquets

“I am making Havoc healthy again,” says Kennedy.

Feb 3, 2025 · 3 min read

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Navy fighter jets issued reflective belts to reduce friendly-fire incidents

CNO Adm. Lisa Franchetti announced the new measure yesterday.

Jan 15, 2025 · 3 min read

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SOF in crisis after POG terrorist stacks more bodies than career Green Beret

"Our nation expects only the best from SOF, including their transition to the crazed veteran life."

Jan 6, 2025 · 3 min read

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Navy creates concubine rating

“For the last time, this is not the same as SWCC."

Nov 18, 2024 · 3 min read

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MEPS doctors say sedentary lifestyles bad for recruits’ supple bodies and soft, soft skin

“These are not the buttholes that defeated the Nazis."

Nov 8, 2024 · 3 min read

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Annual sorting cover ceremony sorts recruits into military branches

As recruit H. Potter was called forward, he was heard muttering, “Not Marines, not Marines."

Oct 31, 2024 · 3 min read

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Opinion: This page maliciously left blank

You can’t control Ctrl+F me? Well, Ctrl+F you, pal.

Aug 28, 2024 · 3 min read

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Navy chief: Prosecuting adultery would adversely impact manning

Ramming speed! All ahead full!

Jun 29, 2024 · 3 min read

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Navy seeks ball gag order for submarine commander

Lawyers whip up order after video surfaces

Jun 1, 2024 · 2 min read

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