STILLWATER, Okla. — Local veteran Chase Wilkerson, a former Army infantryman and quadriplegic, literally can’t even right now, sources confirmed today. Wilkerson, who was paralyzed by an IED strike in
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — A local Fox News viewer and self-proclaimed patriot has been gripped by panic and indecision upon hearing that a white police officer recently shot and killed an unarmed
THE PENTAGON — Firefights with enemy combatants are 96.3% more likely after hearing protection has been removed. according to a new Pentagon study. The results came at the conclusion of
Few people will ever know the hardships and adversity faced by those who raise their right hand and take an oath to serve our country. With less than 1% of
THE WHITE HOUSE — President Donald Trump on Monday released his long-awaited strategy for Afghanistan, saying that he plans to surge thousands of additional US troops and open a new Trump
COLUMBUS, Ga. �� After reading a copy of the Constitution left in the day room while on CQ, Pvt. Austin Morris was shocked by his recent decision to support and defend
PENTAGON — Amid a wave of sexual assault allegations emerging in both politics and the entertainment industry, 12 Air Force budget analysts have come forward and accused the F-35 of assault
KANDAHAR — An ISIS infantry platoon is still waiting for the IED Team to show up after calling them more than seven hours ago, sources confirmed today. "These fucking guys
OKINAWA, Japan — Life is not over for you service members in Japan who aren’t allowed to consume alcohol right now! On its Facebook page, Marine Corps Community Services compiled
THE WHITE HOUSE — President Donald Trump welcomed heroic Native American World War II veterans to the White House on Tuesday with a customary greeting consisting of him tapping his hand
YOUR LOCATION — Capt. Alan Michaels, the Battalion Chaplain, is on a direct course for your immediate gaggle of soldiers, leaving a trail of dead conversations and awkward silence in his
KABUL — The top US commander in Afghanistan has said American and Afghan forces have "turned the corner" in their ongoing circular reasoning fight, sources confirmed today. "We&
SEATTLE, Wash. — An upcoming real-time strategy game is designed to let you watch your troops fuck up until you're fired, sources confirmed today. Titled Counterinsurgency, the debut video
OKINAWA, Japan — Pandemonium and debauchery has descended upon military personnel confined to their barracks in Okinawa, sources confirmed today. Bits and pieces of information is still coming in, but we
WASHINGTON — After pleading guilty to lying to the FBI regarding his contact with Russian officials, former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn is hoping the holiday gift basket he bought from
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former National Security Advisor and retired Army Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn has opened a new school to train the nation's next generation of spies to
AL-BUKAMAL, Syria — A Syrian Christian man living in an ISIS-controlled town is praising President Donald Trump's brave stand for Christians around the world, which has finally made it
KABUL — Afghan National Police Col. Adeeb Safi was promoted to the rank of major general after receiving multiple sexual assault allegations, sources confirmed today. Reports that Safi had sexually assaulted
SYRIA — ISIS is initiating a caliphate-wide safety stand-down after one of its members injured himself on Monday with his own explosive device in New York City, sources confirmed today. “This
MARINE CORPS BASE, NORTH POLE — One of the Marine Corps' most beloved figures has found himself in hot water after attending what some are calling ''the greatest
FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. — After a months-long job search following his separation from active duty, former Army Sgt. Curran Mallard has finally been offered a dream position with a local non-profit
The following is an op-ed written by that guy in 3rd Squad. Yooooooooooo! My fuckin’ dude! What is UP, bro? I haven’t seen you in a minute. I know;
PENTAGON — A new US Army plan to double the amount of PowerPoint slides printed this fiscal year could positively impact the GDPs of four countries, sources confirmed today. "We
MARINE BARRACKS WASHINGTON, D.C. — Cpl. Chesty XIV, also known as Chesty The Bulldog, has been removed from his primary duties as the official Marine Corps mascot following multiple charges
TACOMA, Wash. — Maj. John Wriggins, an Army Radiologist at Madigan Hospital, will receive the Meritorious Service Medal next week for outstanding achievement after he successfully spotted a cancerous tumor in
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