“That loser Crunch has faked being a captain for decades,” said Sanders.
"This is a huge step forward for inclusivity in the Corps," said Lt. Col. Nathan Fluffmaster.
The operational support branch is responsible for self-righteous, performative displays of arbitrary moral superiority across all domains of warfare.
"Who better to sponsor this historic debate than these two powerhouses of enlisted life?”
Smooth move.
We’ll ask the hard-hitting questions.
The barracks room debate is over, thanks to the National Guard.
Walz has seen the horrors of routine training events in partner countries.
The former president may be onto something.
He reads at a third-grade level.
"What am I, seven years old?” said Special Agent David Radcliff.
"It turns out that the mysterious meat served in DFACs was not the ‘Grade-H beef’ we claimed."
"A perfect way to show our veterans how much this community respects their service.”
The State Department has condemned the plan as “appalling” and “outrageous,”
The president really wanted a Blizzard®
"Do I want Trump to forget to call me or Harris? It’s a pickle.”
Don't try this at home, kids.
'Yes, CLP is a lubricant. No, it is not meant for you'
“Where’s McCain?” Trump asked. “I want to make a chip shot off his headstone.”
You can’t control Ctrl+F me? Well, Ctrl+F you, pal.
Iran has remained tight-lipped on the exact nature of this new threat.
“I thought I could trust J.D., but this changes everything,” said Gertrude Witherscotch, an 87-year-old voter.
"We cannot stand idly by while the basic rights and tastes of Palestinians are trampled upon," said one resident.
"A profound betrayal of all men and women that put on the uniform.”
"For the good of the country and my own ass, he should step aside as squad leader.”
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