LITTLE CREEK, Va. — With base gyms now open, sources report that the newly reported Admiral in charge of your command has taken the liberty of hosting a lively conversation with
WASHINGTON — After a long battle with customer satisfaction issues, the Department of Veterans Affairs—known to friends and coworkers as "VA"— took its own life in a veteran&
WASHINGTON — U.S. Marines stationed at Marine Barracks Washington ended this week’s Friday night Evening Parade in celebratory agreement, observing that “This one was really something,” even with it
Is this all there is? Oh my ... I think this is all there is. I was born to be a warrior. My maker designed me in the ashes of 9/
FORT CARSON, Colo. — Major Carl Vandemeer inadvertently awakened a Balrog this past Thursday, sources said, while delving into the 4th Infantry Division shared drive for an old product to reference.
FORT KNOX, Ky. — Your career manager is “emotionally” exhausted from screwing so many people today, sources report. Capt. Melanie Benford, who manages the careers of aviation captains, reportedly screwed over
WASHINGTON – President Donald Trump’s eldest son, Donald Trump Jr., is facing criticism following a recent bounty hunting trip to Afghanistan. Although Trump Jr.’s reputation as a big-game hunter
NEW YORK CITY SEWERS — The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles hosted a seminar on thriving in toxic environments for members of the armed forces this week. “Cowabungahooah, dudes!” Team leader Leonardo
FORT BRAGG, N.C, — Move aside, Green Berets! Recently leaked classified documents reveal the military’s latest pet project: a top-secret new airborne force, composed entirely of cats — E.C.
ST PETERSBURG, Russia – After initially hoping to quickly complete his mission to steal the personal data of thousands of American veterans, Russian Military Intelligence (GRU) cyberterrorist Sacha Volkhov has instead
WASHINGTON — Following a bitter all-night debate, Congress has officially deadlocked over two competing bills which would force the armory to finally accept our goddamn rifles. Senate Republicans have said there
WASHINGTON — The United States emerged victorious after a grueling three-week war with foreign superpower Capitol Hill Occupied Protest (CHOP). The victory is especially momentous as it came just weeks before
KILLEEN, Texas — Officials in Fort Hood, Texas announced this week they have added the 78-year-old post to the list of III Corps off-limits establishments. With the publication of Commanding General’
NORFOLK, Va. — The Navy stands on the shoulders of great traditions, none greater than the ability to thrust its very essence into the hearts of the nation’s enemies, which
MAYPORT, Fl. — This year's Jacksonville Military Appreciation Air Show in Florida, billed as the state’s biggest military air display, has been canceled over concerns over being way
SAN DIEGO — As a few military child care centers are starting to reopen during the pandemic, a strenuous and challenging PT test for your kids has been implemented for them
I am a pigeon. As a member of this otherized and belittled minority community, I have watched with particular concern while the current racial discord and societal conflict consumes us.
THE PENTAGON – The Air Force’s next generation stealth bomber, the B-21 Raider, is reportedly not only invisible to radar but also completely undetectable by budget oversight, according to sources
FORT HOOD, Texas — Amid a heavy media spotlight on Texas Army base Fort Hood, senior leaders from the installation have decided to host country superstar Toby Keith for a concert
SAN DIEGO, Calif. – The USS Bonhomme Richard (LHA-6), one of the Navy’s premier amphibious assault ships, suffered an explosion and fire this Sunday at Naval Base San Diego. Ship’
WASHINGTON – The Coast Guard Investigative Service (CGIS) is investigating the death of Commandant of the Coast Guard Adm. Karl L. Schultz, whose body was discovered Sunday morning. Anonymous sources report
LANGLEY AFB, Va. — During a staff meeting, Air Force Captain Richard "Action" Jackson continued his habit of fucking up common military phrases. Jackson, a 2016 graduate of the
ABERDEEN PROVING GROUND, Maryland — Soldiers nationwide have spoken: The number one piece of equipment the military needs to survive in combat is rifles that also serve as Wifi Hotspots. Despite
WASHINGTON — Naval Sea Systems Command has certified the troubled Electromagnetic Aircraft Launch System (EMALS) to perform burials at sea. The USS Gerald R. Ford (CVN-78) Navy's newest carrier
CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — After a long day at work, base sergeants major drink Buds Light, a recent poll in the Camp Lejeune Globe reports. Aides de Camp also ranked
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