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The Duffel Brief · the free edition, Monday, Wednesday and Friday

Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Saturday, 26 September 2026

Pentagon

Military leaders debate who gets to masturbate first in sniper arch

Services clash over historic privilege of being first to defile nation’s newest military monument

Mitch McConnell returns from extended drill weekend

Trump considers replacing Hegseth with rock or something

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Vol. 15 · No. 115

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Duffel Blog

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Vol. 15 · No. 115 · Deployed worldwide

Saturday

26 September 2026

0515 Zulu

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Pentagon · Page 3

The Trump administration also accidentally texted us its war plans

Strike plans—whatever you want to call them—it's classified okay?

Filed · 0504

The world found out shortly before 2 p.m. Eastern time on March 15th that the United States was bombing Houthi targets across Yemen.

We, however, knew two hours before the first bombs exploded that the attack might be coming, and also what the National Security Council was going to have for dinner. We knew this because Pete Hegseth, the Secretary of Defense, had texted us the war plan at 11:44 a.m. The plan included precise information about weapons packages, targets, timing, and a bunch of messages about how Europe is just the worst.

This is going to require some explaining.

A few nights ago, as we were finishing off some reheated Hot Pockets and Googling whether we could count a new Xbox as a business expense, the phone buzzed with a connection request on Signal from a user identified as Michael Waltz — the same name as that of the somehow still current U.S. National Security Advisor.

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