SAN DIEGO, Calif. — The fattest service nine years running, the Navy is seeking a solution to the obesity epidemic sweeping our nation’s military. The service has made it clear,
FORT HOOD, Texas – In what friends and family are calling an existential crisis, Chief Warrant Officer 3 Chris Vance has been unsure where to disappear to since being ordered to
TUCSON, Ariz. – The U.S. Air Force announced this week that it had awarded a $400 million contract to the Raytheon Missiles & Defense technology company, which reportedly surprised company
PYONGYANG – Multiple intelligence sources announced Monday evening that Kim Jong Un, long time supreme leader of North Korea, is in critical condition while recovering from heart surgery. While sources vary
PYONGYANG — While definitive information regarding the health of North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un is notably absent, the secretive nation reported its first obesity related death in more than 70 years
WASHINGTON — Numerous general officers who contributed to America's slow-motion failure in Afghanistan would like you to take their advice on how to defeat the coronavirus pandemic, sources confirmed
THE PENTAGRAM — In the wake of a recently released report showing a three percent increase in reported sexual assaults across the military last year, the Pentagon issued a statement vowing
ANNAPOLIS, Md. – Defense Tropes Quarterly announced the publication of yet another article claiming the aircraft carrier is vulnerable, obsolete, and prohibitively expensive. The piece is the latest in a long
WASHINGTON — In an unprecedented public revelation, Deep State leaders announced plans to honor essential COVID-19 crisis actors with chemtrail flyovers throughout the month of May. "It is the least
SAN DIEGO – Tim Chen, an accomplished Jody servicing the wives of the U.S. Navy pacific fleet, has been forced into banging his own wife due to social distancing measures
JACKSONVILLE, N.C. — Pvt. 1st Class John Hodges is totally about to make millions in the stock market, sources report. "Stocks are so low right now I'm
THE PENTAGON — The yearly Force Readiness and Future Investments report from the Pentagon identifies key areas of R&D investment for future acquisitions programs. This year’s report took
PHILADELPHIA, Pa. — The Blue Angels and Thunderbirds completed a flyover of the greater Philadelphia area to remind healthcare professionals that members of the military are still the only heroes America
BOISE, Id. — Capt. Stuart J Rollins, an A-10 pilot in the Idaho Air National Guard, is taking the alcoholism and flight skills the military gave him and bringing them to
FORT JACKSON, S.C. — Spc. Tyson McClean, a light-wheeled vehicle mechanic with the 3-128th Infantry Battalion, might be a top barracks lawyer right now, but he ascribes to be a
FORT LEONARD WOOD — The Army's competition for Non-Commissioned Officer of the year came to an end today after a grueling process, when the personal records review revealed only
SAN ANTONIO, Texas — Members of the 470th Military Intelligence Brigade at Fort Sam Houston have expressed concern and confusion following an event early Thursday morning. A newly assigned warrant officer
FORT BRAGG, N.C. — After months of complaints from spouses regarding employment opportunities and low morale at the Garrison town hall meetings, senior leaders from across the installation have decided
PARIS – In a desperate attempt to curb the spread of coronavirus disease, or COVID-19, within its borders, the French military surrendered unconditionally to the virus in a beautifully choreographed public
WASHINGTON — Documents from the late 1940s declassified Monday contain shocking revelations regarding famed muffin patriarch Otis Spunkemeyer. The documents outline a secret US program called Operation Banana Nut which repatriated
PYONGYANG, North Korea — North Korea’s Space Force has for the first time successfully launched a "totally willing human" into space, according to a press release from the
Listen up, America. You’re scared. You’re scared of an enemy that you can’t see and that is highly infectious. Well, you know what is more infectious than
WASHINGTON — Excitement over a recently released update to the wildly popular Call of Duty video game franchise turned to confusion and worry this week as thousands of gamers discovered that
ARMSTRONG LUNAR BASE, MOON – Tragedy struck the U.S. Space Force Academy yesterday as its entire graduating class suffocated during the celebratory helmet toss. “To be fair, this was the
PYONGYANG – The Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA) confirmed that North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Chong Un is calling himself "a new Dear Leader" devoted to a life of health
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