KANDAHAR — An ISIS infantry platoon is still waiting for the IED Team to show up after calling them more than seven hours ago, sources confirmed today. "These fucking guys
OKINAWA, Japan — Life is not over for you service members in Japan who aren’t allowed to consume alcohol right now! On its Facebook page, Marine Corps Community Services compiled
THE WHITE HOUSE — President Donald Trump welcomed heroic Native American World War II veterans to the White House on Tuesday with a customary greeting consisting of him tapping his hand
YOUR LOCATION — Capt. Alan Michaels, the Battalion Chaplain, is on a direct course for your immediate gaggle of soldiers, leaving a trail of dead conversations and awkward silence in his
KABUL — The top US commander in Afghanistan has said American and Afghan forces have "turned the corner" in their ongoing circular reasoning fight, sources confirmed today. "We&
SEATTLE, Wash. — An upcoming real-time strategy game is designed to let you watch your troops fuck up until you're fired, sources confirmed today. Titled Counterinsurgency, the debut video
OKINAWA, Japan — Pandemonium and debauchery has descended upon military personnel confined to their barracks in Okinawa, sources confirmed today. Bits and pieces of information is still coming in, but we
WASHINGTON — After pleading guilty to lying to the FBI regarding his contact with Russian officials, former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn is hoping the holiday gift basket he bought from
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Former National Security Advisor and retired Army Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn has opened a new school to train the nation's next generation of spies to
AL-BUKAMAL, Syria — A Syrian Christian man living in an ISIS-controlled town is praising President Donald Trump's brave stand for Christians around the world, which has finally made it
KABUL — Afghan National Police Col. Adeeb Safi was promoted to the rank of major general after receiving multiple sexual assault allegations, sources confirmed today. Reports that Safi had sexually assaulted
SYRIA — ISIS is initiating a caliphate-wide safety stand-down after one of its members injured himself on Monday with his own explosive device in New York City, sources confirmed today. “This
MARINE CORPS BASE, NORTH POLE — One of the Marine Corps' most beloved figures has found himself in hot water after attending what some are calling ''the greatest
FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. — After a months-long job search following his separation from active duty, former Army Sgt. Curran Mallard has finally been offered a dream position with a local non-profit
The following is an op-ed written by that guy in 3rd Squad. Yooooooooooo! My fuckin’ dude! What is UP, bro? I haven’t seen you in a minute. I know;
PENTAGON — A new US Army plan to double the amount of PowerPoint slides printed this fiscal year could positively impact the GDPs of four countries, sources confirmed today. "We
MARINE BARRACKS WASHINGTON, D.C. — Cpl. Chesty XIV, also known as Chesty The Bulldog, has been removed from his primary duties as the official Marine Corps mascot following multiple charges
TACOMA, Wash. — Maj. John Wriggins, an Army Radiologist at Madigan Hospital, will receive the Meritorious Service Medal next week for outstanding achievement after he successfully spotted a cancerous tumor in
WASHINGTON — Base Commanders across the military have steadily become aware of seasonal low morale across the force, and they're going to do something about it. “Our research uncovered
FORT HOOD, Texas – It's always a joyous occasion when Army majors pin on their next rank of lieutenant colonel, but absent from the celebration this week was Maj.
YOUR HOME — You thought being stationed close to home would be a good idea, since you could hang out with old friends, see family more often, and pocket a little
FORT GORDON, Ga. — The Army has toiled for years to create a new body composition program that reflects soldiers' modern physical requirements, though a common complaint is the poor
The following is a Point/Counterpoint debate about the circumstances surrounding the various acts of malfeasance in your unit over the weekend. The Point will be presented by everyone on
WASHINGTON — In a heartbreaking turn of events, the Marine Corps burst into tears yesterday when Army broke the news that Gen. James Mattis is just a story created to inspire
FORT BELVOIR, Va. – It felt like any other Friday as Capt. David Clark was driving home. Unable to get off post before the loud speakers sounded Retreat, he stood at
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