Navy to outfit subs with torpedo bats
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Soldier who doesn't care about politics ready to deter Russian-backed Chinese Iranians
3 min read
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Pentagon removes 54th Massachusetts from Army records as 'DEI hires'
"Recruiting an entire regiment based only on skin color? What were we thinking?”
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Man who sat out war declares war on those who didn't
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Pentagon releases list of approved racial and sexual epithets
Names and “zingers” questioning another service member’s sexual orientation are allowed immediately.
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DoD establishes strategic porn reserve after Canada threatens to disable PornHub
Now our warfighters won’t lose access to the lube that keeps the Defense Department grinding.
4 min read
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Pentagon renames Fort Campbell after the soup
"Remember that we are Army Strong, and we are Mmm Mmm Good.”
3 min read
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Citing DEI, Pentagon ends special treatment of black mold in barracks
Black mold is now able to serve openly in the barracks with no special treatment and will be judged fairly against other barracks residents.
3 min read
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Hegseth punishes himself with extra set of 47 pushups for leaking war plans
"Accountability has been my watchword from day one, and my little boo-boo is no exception,” he said.
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👊🇺🇸🔥
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The Trump Administration also accidentally texted us its war plans
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Man known for poor judgment displays poor judgment
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Jeff and Tina: Hey, uh, what in the fuck?
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Hegseth says he meant to send dick pic, not war plans
3 min read
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Lieutenant won't shut the fuck up about IPAs
3 min read
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Duffel Blog’s guide to joining a foreign military
Looking for a fresh start in a foreign land? We've got you covered.
5 min read
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TRANSCOM renamed PENISORVAGINACOM to comply with Presidential Directives
"It's super awkward to put on my LinkedIn profile," said Gen. Randall Reed, the commander.
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Pentagon offers Black recruits exciting opportunities as cooks, truck drivers
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Hegseth orders military to paint 'Z' on all vehicles
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VA Secretary promises to personally punch every veteran in the nutsack
“If you’re excited about these changes, just wait til you see what I do to your balls.”
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