Strike plans—whatever you want to call them—it's classified okay?
“I was shocked when I heard Pete was the source of the Pentagon leaks,” said Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard.
All we asked for was 80% compliance.
“It reminds me of this one time when I was in this chick’s OODA Loop and accidentally gave her Plan Bravo instead of Plan B the next morning."
“He won’t stop,” said Sgt. Jake Mendoza, rolling his eyes.
Looking for a fresh start in a foreign land? We've got you covered.
"It's super awkward to put on my LinkedIn profile," said Gen. Randall Reed, the commander.
"“All the DEI nonsense muddied the waters of where Black merit traditionally lies in the military," a spokesman said.
The markings will distinguish U.S. forces from “freedom-hating and war-mongering Ukrainians,” according to Hegseth.
“If you’re excited about these changes, just wait til you see what I do to your balls.”
“So, naturally, we formed a task force to determine whether we had too many task forces."
“I guess I thought there was more humanity to unravel with J.D.”
Here are Hegseth’s best “easy outs” for serving allies and partners a big cold dish of reality.
The company has been "an industry-leading innovator in bullet point technology for over five decades."
“We are very proud of this milestone,” said Adm. Lisa Francetti.
According to CIA data, in 2024 alone, DEI agents hosted more than 2,000 diversity-themed events.
“Thank you, Jeff! Thank you, Tina! Your service is not forgotten."
Corners remain to be turned, contracts to be awarded
Senior defense officials say Flynn is an accomplished expert on the international enclave.
Pro: This will own the libs, so hard
"Look me in the eye and tell me God does not 100% revile the infantry."
"It’s just a fun little thought experiment for our planners to get some practice.”
“Look, 22 a day just isn’t going to cut it,” said DOGE chief Elon Musk.
Upon confirmation, Giant Floating Pile of Trash will replace relieved commandant Adm. Linda Fagan.
So weird.
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