JOINT BASE MCGUIRE-DIX-LAKEHURST, N.J. — In an effort to join the E-4 mafia, a local soldier has instead joined the actual mafia, sources confirmed today. Newly-promoted Spc....
PENTAGON — Much like the search for the golden ticket in Willy Wonka, the country has erupted into a sweet Fortnite gaming sesh that doubles as real...
Are you a suicide bomber aspirant struggling to succeed in today’s saturated market? Are you envious that everyone is calling Yusuf the “Damascus Dominator” because he...
DOHA, Qatar — Chief U.S. negotiator Zalmay Khalilzad repeated assurances today he received from the Taliban that they are “totally going to lay down their weapons...
CAMP LEMONNIER, Djibouti – Pfc. Braddock Chase, the highest speed motivator in the 1-167th Infantry doesn’t listen to the haters and draggers and prefers to see the...
Aspiring military dictator wonders why agents from the future have not been sent to stop him... yet
Have we reached the end of publicly-supported, mutli-decade wars that have no estimable completion deadline and no clear-cut objectives? Now that they’re done ruining the turkey...
SAN DIEGO — Disney is ready to sprinkle some magic over future Navy deployments. The Navy plans to plus up its fleet over the next five...
