Sitemap - 2021 - Duffel Blog

Elves complain of double standard after Santa 'passes' PT test

Santa denies allegations of toxic eggnog in elf housing

US moves from DIME strategy to NICKEL during economic downturn

VA to offer free cup of coffee while you wait in line to die

Pentagon leaders really struggling with performance review bullets this year

Toddler aimlessly wandering around base may be lost child or new XO

More actors shot into space than Space Force personnel: Report

College student serving in National Guard enjoys worst of both worlds

Woke Navy goat steals herself

Meet the boot who cares about the Army-Navy game

Give the gift of laughing at the Pentagon's expense

VFW delays event until fat guy with a beard shows up

Pacific Fleet Claims Garbage Island As US Territory

Navy says lava field near base housing area may be unsafe

Navy intel officer gives wrong secure phone number to creepy crypto guy

Point/Counterpoint: Please stop ratfucking the MREs vs. I want M&Ms

'All Else Fails' added to DoD operational risk management model

Study: Rising sea levels may affect thousands of warrant officers lounging on beach during middle of workday

DOD’s Afghanistan PCS voucher kicked back due to unauthorized nation-building expenses

A shortlist of things US Navy submarines have never collided with, but might one day

Opinion: Honor America’s veterans by having the naivete to listen to retired generals

Biden criticized for hasty and sloppy withdrawal from War on Christmas

Poll: Troops smoked for minor offenses happy that Air Force got off for killing kids

National Guard deployed to enforce vaccine mandate on National Guard

US strikes deal with Taliban to recover dick drawings left behind in Afghanistan

Trust completely eroded after sergeant pretends to lose count of pushups

Biden wanders into War Room after hearing reports of Chinese lunch

Applebee's to offer free meals only to veterans who won in Afghanistan

Child stays up late on Veterans Day Eve to catch glimpse of veteran climbing down chimney

Army commissions first CrossFit Chaplain

Afghan interpreters relocated to Fort Hood request asylum in Afghanistan

Pentagon deletes Afghanistan photos following ugly breakup

Soylent Green MREs back after popular demand

Taliban seizes $5 billion in abandoned American PowerPoint slides

A Navy SEAL’s Guide to Maximizing your Trick-or-Treating Success

Dick Cheney appears younger following death of Colin Powell

Afghan veteran launches Brown Rifle Chai Company

Hundreds dead after Air Force dining facility runs out of truffles, wagyu beef

First officers graduate SOCOM's new SNACK-O course

Budget-crunched Pentagon introduces 549-cord

Warzone player refuses self-revive kit after doing his own research

Pentagon mulling ban on gender-reveal combat operations

Point/Counterpoint: Here’s a list of resources for your military family vs don’t have a family, it’s a huge pain in our ass

46 nebulous concepts to declare war on now that terrorism is defeated

Navy approves wear of parrots on shoulders

Army to name new 200-ton tank after General Milley

Used Jingle Truck dealers in Kabul preying on Taliban privates

Has to be fate: Lieutenant finds soulmate at bar closest to main gate

Sergeant who refuses to wear mask mandates reflective belts for afternoon PT

Duffel Blog's military transition guide for members who don’t obey lawful orders

Daniel Craig gains 40 pounds, God complex after becoming honorary naval officer

High tech upgrade centralizes all military urinalysis monitoring at NORTHCOM

Biden fires intern in charge of Afghanistan

Taliban victory proves dental readiness a hoax

Progressive soldiers call female commander 'asshole' instead of 'bitch'

CENTCOM commander apologizes for drone strike on wrong carload of kids

‘Way to lose the War on Terror,’ says Coast Guardsman fighting War on Drugs

US contracts Liam Neeson for revenge against Taliban

Taliban fighters launch hit YouTube series unpacking seized U.S. equipment

Veggie omelet MRE came from lab, not wet market: report

Local man struggles to remember name of country he cared deeply about last week

Mike Lindell promises irrefutable proof the US won in Afghanistan

Biden solemnly reflects on where he was when the flying things hit the— uhh, you know, c'mon man

US reassures Afghans that military-industrial complex will come out of this stronger than ever

Taliban S-4 pissed no one has signed for new US equipment

Nielsen says final episode of ‘Afghanistan’ drew biggest ratings in 12 seasons

Draft dodgers vote to make women register for draft

Outrage after US Military leaves 46 dogs, 30 million Afghans, behind

National security think tanks launch surprise assault on Kabul

White House says messaging on Afghan evacuation efforts is going great, man

National Guard commander impressed with how much Taliban accomplished in a single weekend

Taliban can’t believe they actually have to govern this shithole now

US offers to trade back Bowe Bergdahl

Gen. Milley regrets not including Vietnam War history book on reading list

Afghanistan vet who killed indiscriminately praying for innocent Afghans

US intel finds link between Taliban retaking Afghanistan, airmen putting hands in pockets

Afghan interpreters left behind to translate cries for help

Afghan War planners caught plagiarizing ending from war in Vietnam

Army General with 6 minute run time loses war

DoD memo from 1985 finally authorizes service members to wear mullets

Staff Sergeant: This 29th vaccination is where I draw the line

Lieutenant at sleepover dared to turn off lights and chant 'Sergeant Major' in mirror three times

National Guard Changes 'Minutemen' nickname to 'Permanentmen'

77 years after D-Day, 97 year-old veteran finally awarded letter of reprimand

Coast Guard's birthday promises to have boatloads of wine coolers

Hilarious! Sergeant Major’s ‘funny stories’ really just hazing stories

Air Force warns of 'Martian air superiority' gap after NASA repeatedly flies helicopter on Red Planet

Spelling error leads to mandatory vacations for all US troops

Coast Guardsman enlists to protect and defend Cheddar Bay

99% of you won't share this picture of the US Flag, study finds

PSYOPS to add another S to their name

Taliban calls emergency meeting after US, its largest donor, pulls funding

Space Force still on Air Force’s phone plan

Afghanistan looking forward to peace after US withdrawal, says Taliban Minister of Public Executions

Duffel Blog's definitive guide to making toilet wine

Ransomware takedown of DTS went unnoticed for years

People stranded on island wave away Coast Guard helicopter, “No Thanks! It’s much better here!”

US quietly drops 'Enduring' and 'Freedom' portions of Operation Enduring Freedom

Gen. Milley looks for rebound war as Afghanistan moves on

Last C-17 out of Afghanistan still waiting for CWO4 who said she'd 'be right back'

Segways allowed in new Air Force fitness test

Veteran with 'Be Courteous With Fireworks' yard sign unaffected by Flowmaster exhaust, Toby Keith

Quiet professional wears 'quiet professional' shirt to stress his quiet professionalism

Donald Rumsfeld refuses to live in a world without war in Afghanistan

New MRE has only tobacco, caffeine, and jalapeño-cheese spread

AFN's 'Undercover Boss: Joint Chiefs' show not fooling anyone

Fiery, all-seeing eye atop NSA headquarters vows to protect Americans’ privacy

Commander relieved for tolerating normal human fallibility and error

Retiree just glad to stand around naked in base gym locker room again

Congressman avoids eye contact with Generals panhandling outside his office

A-10: The F-22 had a good run

Navy denies NFL hopeful's request to delay service due to need for clueless Ensign

Chaos ensues after Gen. Milley inspects Pentagon barracks

Army rolls out ambitious, six-event mental fitness test

Army veteran, poet laureate, reflects on dicks undrawn

Army opens Yes Men Academy for officers

Pentagon authorizes female service members hazard duty pay for pretty much all assignments

Army to authorize beards if vaccine goal reached by July 4th

New VR headsets let soldiers see what life would be like if they joined the Air Force

‘No proof of aliens’ says Space Force General of the Galaxy Mzorpus Klaatu

US hides 5 visas for Afghan interpreters inside Wonka bars

This Memorial Day, Eddie Gallagher reflects on those he totally didn’t murder

North Korea promises to kill as many citizens as necessary to resist US aggression

Absolute psycho brought everything on the packing list

Pentagon says vaccinated troops no longer have to wear masks while throwing up in an Uber

Ted Cruz tells US Army to get back to commercials that make his dick hard

Meet the general officers who broke tradition and just retired to quiet lives

Iran says nuclear weapons program purely for hunting and home defense

Pentagon budgets for enlisted aide position to unmute generals on Zoom

Russian armored division destroyed by soldier’s 20th leg tuck

AWOL numbers skyrocket after Air Force transitions to camouflage that actually works

Officer leaves job in military-industrial complex for the wedding-industrial complex

Space Force bans Moon landings after discovering rare species of lunar tortoise

Lockheed unveils '6th-Generation Fighter for the Middle Class'

Marine Corps forgets Mother’s Day gift for Navy AGAIN and it’s fine, forget it, never mind

Gender reveal mine announces Navy's next ship will be a dud

Bubble-leveling leads to record number of table-slaps at joint commanders conference

Interactive military museum exhibit invites patrons to poop like the troops

Air Force debuts new mission statement: 'Airpower in 30 minutes or it’s free'

1st Sergeant shocked to realize he’s been yelling this whole time

The Army's Long-Range Strike vision is stupid vs So is your mom

DoD adopts new 'Winning Isn't Everything' motto

No one at the bar can tell if Coast Guard guy is stealing valor

Pentagon celebrates its military children with gifts of lifelong therapy and alcoholism

Taliban wonders who will inadvertently fund operations after US leaves

Pentagon to weed out extremists by banning Marine Corps

Ghislaine Maxwell moved to VA Hospital parking lot to await trial

Army says generals can substitute two-minute plank in lieu of victory in Afghanistan

FDA authorizes Crayola vaccine for Marines

Radio Shack manager refuses to give National Guard general time off for drill

Capitol rioters demand military discount on prison sentences

White House under fire over Major Biden promotion to lieutenant colonel

3 eggs found, 18 lieutenants lost at base Easter egg hunt

Soldiers evicted from barracks to protect endangered black mold species

US finally leaves Afghanistan

US Navy glad someone else’s boat fucked up for once

Defense Secretary celebrates Passover with slaughter of firstborn budget requests

Duffel Blog just made history

Inspiring! This infantryman traded Marine camouflage for a Papa John's uniform

Pentagon disappointed with results of ‘It’s Just a Little Prick’ vaccine campaign

Kim Jong-Un seen outside Mar-a-Lago blasting 'In Your Eyes' on boombox

Iranian military holds mandatory extremism standup

Tucker Carlson says he's not thrilled about male military uniforms either

Congressional investigation uncovers what you can do with a drunken sailor

Air Force opens first Montessori Officer Training School

Army mandates quarterly 'don’t invade the Capitol' training

Michigan to host first Space Force Militia

D.C. National Guard deployment extended due to traffic on Beltway, Connecticut Avenue

Army Combat Fitness Test adopted military-wide after rousing success with soldiers

6 surefire ways to determine whether your Chief Petty Officer is actually a vampire

Democrats pander to troops with Dodge Charger loan forgiveness plan

Pentagon says it’s not mad at F-35, just disappointed

New Marine Corps budget calls for more beefy boys with machine guns

How to be a Duffel Blog writer

Soldier forced to write ‘I will not accuse anyone of sedition until I can properly define it’ on whiteboard 14,000 times

Handlers step in after dog develops extremist views

Navy considers crotch-level rank insignia in effort to avoid awkward chest gaze

Hollywood studios pass on Dan Crenshaw audition tape

Early-warning system tells E-4s when First Sergeant is approaching

'Rank is just a number,' says E-8 dating E-2

VA hospital burned to ground rated 30% destroyed

Duffel Blog Presents: The 17 best signature block quotes

Chinese-made Trojan horse pretty uncomfortable with several files on Marine’s hard drive

Retired general on Pepsi board vows to win War on Thirst

Army-developed artificial intelligence asks if it’s too late to join the Air Force

Sergeant wants a girl who looks at him like Joint Chiefs look at Afghanistan

Value of jalapeño cheese spread artificially inflated by extended training exercise

Thrift Savings Plan debuts new 'Work Until You Die' fund

Army holds safety stand-down to address dangers of drinking antifreeze

Space National Guardsman regrets having to commute to Moon for drill every month

Kool-Aid Man joins SEALs to assist with forced entries

National Guard halts Capitol and COVID-19 missions after discovering private is red on dental

Former ‘Ranger’ Tom Cotton refuses to call Jill Biden ‘Doctor'

Recruiter nervously watching economy improve

Space Force fitness test to be administered entirely in swivel chairs

Michael Flynn hired to teach un-ethics class at Army War College

Iraq evacuates nonessential workers, fortifies embassy ahead of US presidential inauguration

Most Space Force recruits already speak Klingon, study finds

Critics warn National Guard lacks exit strategy for presidential inauguration

Trump pardons Fort Hood

Bewildered senior airman learns he is new acting Secretary of Defense

Duffel Blog Presents: The Top 5 excuses for avoiding a retirement ceremony

Trump adds prominent barracks lawyer to 'legal dream team'

Army's new strategic plan for 2021 outlines the next 10 to 15 minutes

Pentagon insists US military will only interfere in foreign elections